“Don’t worry about it Terri.”
“Oh God.” I felt myself gagging, but nothing was coming up. I guess I didn’t have anything left in there to throw up. I was a fucking mess...plain and simple.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Justin
Terri! How much could a person handle? She was seriously on the borderline. I pulled into the driveway and carried her up to my bed.
Mother fucking hell! Why the hell did she have to find him? Why couldn’t it have been that slut he was fucking?
I called Phil Sorensen. He was on the way over here. Terri had seen him in the past. Hell, he was our friend and resident psychiatrist. Pearce and I had grown up with him. Lexi, Terri and I had all seen him as patients. Thank God he’d chosen psychiatry as his specialty!
She was lying in bed, white as a sheet and scared as hell. I wouldn’t leave her side. I was lying next to her, holding her, telling her how much I loved her and how sorry I was.
Phil arrived and he gave her some meds to calm her down. She was in shock, almost in a meltdown. When she fell asleep, Phil and I went downstairs and talked. He recommended that she stay with me for a while, at least until she felt like she had things on track. Phil thought she needed to start coming back in to see him again too. Everything she had been through...the business going under, catching her dad with Angela and now this, was too much for her to handle. She needed to vent and to learn how to cope with it all in a healthy manner.
Then he looked at me and suggested that I might benefit from a session or two as well.
“Yeah,” I agreed as I blew out my breath. “Man, Phil, you should’ve seen her when she blew up at those cops. When she started laughing, I was afraid I’d lost her. It scared the crap out of me. I’m not kidding.”
“Stress overload. She can only process so much at once. She’s going to be fine Justin. Just hang tight here. Let her vent when she needs it. The funeral will be tough on her. Does she have any siblings?”
I explained about her brother.
“She can’t seem to catch a break can she?”
“Not a single one.”
“Call me if you need me. That sedative should last until this afternoon. The Xanax is here and let her use it as needed. It’ll keep her panic attacks at bay. I don’t think she’ll need anything for chronic treatment. Right now, let’s just get her through this acute stage.”
“Okay. Thanks Phil.”
“Anytime.”
I had some schedule rearranging to do so I got Jackson and Robert on the phone. After explaining the situation, they took me off the schedule for the rest of the week. They told me if I needed more time to let them know. My secretary also said she’d handle the hospital schedule as well.
Lexi and Pearce had to be notified and so did the rest of my family. Soon, I had a houseful of people wanting to help. I’d also called Alana to make sure she was in the loop. Lexi went by Terri’s and packed a big bag for her so she wouldn’t have to go back to her house for a few days. Pearce followed her to the office and they brought her car back too. Lexi also stopped by Mrs. Mitchell’s house to pay her condolences. She was in shock over the whole thing too.
Every time I checked in on Terri, my heart twisted up in my chest. She was curled up into a tight ball and her face was streaked with tears. All I wanted to do was to lay down next to her and somehow find a way to absorb all her pain from her. I’d sit next to her and stroke her hair, her back anything, just to try to ease the torment she was going through.
The afternoon sun was sinking low and the room was catching the last of its rays when I went in to check on her and she was finally stirring.
“Hey,” she said in a gruff voice.
“Hey yourself. Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah, I’m really thirsty and I need to brush my teeth.”
“Teeth and water I can do.”
I helped her to the bathroom where she accomplished all of the above plus she had to use the restroom too.
When I got her back in bed, I asked her, “Can I get you anything else?”
“Yeah...You. Please.”
I was right there for her. She clung to me like a static charged piece of polyester. Everything on her body touched mine. It was need, desperation, grief and love all rolled into one.
“For one tiny moment of time, I want to forget this morning. Make me forget Justin,” she whispered against my neck.
I looked into her face, just to make sure I understood what she was asking. Her eyes...the pain in them almost made me flinch.
“Oh hell Terri. I can’t make it go away...I wish I could. But I can love you. I can do that forever.”
“Yes. That’s what I want. I want you to love me. With your hands, your mouth, your body. I need you Justin. I need to feel something other than pain right now. I need to feel your love.”